Ratburger Salad Page 4
‘A merit!’ said Tony. ‘In Cookery! I guess that mucks up us mucking it up.’
‘Well, I ain’t doing it,’ said Jon, ‘an’ I don’t care what Franklinstein says.’
‘You ain’t got the choice any more,’ said Eddie glumly. ‘If you don’t, she’ll get to hear about it.’
‘She always does,’ said Tony. ‘I wonder who keeps grassing us up.’
‘Don’t need no brains to work that one out,’ said Al. ‘Old Palm Trees, that’s who.’
‘So what do we do, Al?’ said Jon. ‘We can’t not do it now an’ I don’t fancy doing any more of all that whipping an’ battering an’ stuff.’
‘I don’t know,’ he replied miserably. ‘I’ll think of something.’
But silently, he had to wonder. There were things he could handle, like Mad Max on one of his bad days, or the Maths teacher on one of her good ones, or even school dinners on any day but there was nothing, nothing to compare with this. As he saw it, the choice was simple and stark: knuckle under or else. And if they didn’t then someone, somewhere, would get to hear about it. One thing they had discovered long ago was the staff’s intelligence network. Another thing they had discovered long ago was a healthy respect for it.
He felt a nudge on his arm and looked up. Jon was gesturing up the corridor at someone walking towards them, someone he didn’t usually wish to see and especially not then. She looked okay for girl, he had to admit, with long dark hair and clothes that clung nicely to her in all the right places. But she was still a girl and he was a guy, and the two, he knew, just wouldn’t mix. Not yet awhile, anyway.
‘Hi!’ said Keren. ‘I thought I’d find you here. Has she finished with you?’
‘Word gets around, don’t it?’ said Al.
‘It does when it involves you lot. So, what did she have to say this time?’
‘What do you want to know for?’ said Jon.
‘I wasn’t talking to you, Jonathan Handley,’ said Keren sharply.
‘Yeah? Well, I was talking to you. So what do you want to know for?’
‘Cool it, Jon,’ said Al, stepping between them. He turned to face her, to deal with her in the only way this girl seemed to understand. ‘She said not to do it again. Okay?’
‘Is that all? You got off lightly.’
‘Yeah, well, it’s amazing what a bit of charm can do to a woman.’
The others sniggered, knew only too well just how hard that one was going to hit home.
‘Well, ’ she retorted tartly, ‘it’s a pity you can’t use a little of that charm on this woman.’
Al said nothing: they’d been here too many times before.
‘What’s the next lesson?’ he asked instead, wanting to change the subject.
‘Double English, as well you know!’ she snapped. ‘Why? Are you going to try and find a way to mess that one up like you do in Cookery?’
‘Oh, so you’d noticed, then!’
‘Yes, I’d noticed. I would have to have been blind not to. What is your hang-up with Cookery anyway? It’s fun, it’s creative and you get to eat what you’ve made.’
‘It’s okay for you to say that,’ said Tony, ‘you’re a girl.’
‘Oh,’ she said, turning to him, ‘and having fun and being creative is different for boys, is it?’
‘Well, yeah…I think...’
‘You don’t sound too certain.’
‘The point is we just don’t want to do it,’ said Al, jumping in before his friend could dig himself into a deeper hole. ‘We hate doing it.’
‘If you go in with that attitude, I’m not surprised,’ said Keren. ‘You never know, you might be glad of it one day.’
‘Yeah, that’s what Franklinstein said,’ Eddie murmured.
‘Oh, so there was more, was there? And what else did she say?’
‘Nothing,’ Al said quickly. ‘Just that.’
Her eyes narrowed, suspicion lurking behind them. ‘I don’t believe you. What are you trying to hide?’
‘Nothing,’ said Jon. ‘And even if we were, do we have to tell you?’
She opened her mouth to speak, probably to remind him sharply just who it was he was speaking to, when the office door opened. Mrs. Franklin appeared in its frame.
‘Are you still here?’ she demanded. ‘Don’t you have a lesson to go to?’
They mumbled something that might have passed for a Yes Miss and were gone, shuffling down the corridor in the direction of Double English, Keren striding ahead, Keren trying hard not to look as though she was actually with them.
‘And don’t forget,’ a voice called after them, ‘I want to see a merit mark for each of you on the board, a merit mark for Cookery.’
They didn’t answer, just swung round a corner and out of her sight. But Keren was there and Keren was waiting for them, her eyes flashing cold delight.
‘So that’s it!’ she hissed. ‘A merit mark!’
‘Yeah, yeah, that’s it,’ Al retorted bitterly. ‘What of it?’
‘Well, you’re just going to have to make an effort now, aren’t you.’
‘Yeah, like I care what she says!’
‘She is the headmistress,’ Keren reminded him firmly. Then she was dropping her voice, trying to sound a little more conciliatory, a little more understanding. ‘Look, I know this is going to be difficult for you but I can help.’
‘Oh yeah? Like how?’
‘Well, we could…you know…share a table.’
Al didn’t answer, just stared at her, horrified by the mere thought of it. For the past six months, he’d managed to stay out of this girl’s way and now she’d been handed the perfect excuse to bridge the gulf he’d been trying to dig between them in all that time.
‘Uh…thanks,’ he said. ‘I’ll let you know.’
‘Well, the offer’s there if you want to take it up,’ she said, then she was gone, walking quickly down the corridor as though trying to escape something embarrassing. The others crowded round him.
‘Hey, you’re in with a chance there,’ said Jon.
‘Let us know when the first date is,’ said Tony.
‘Can I be best man?’ said Eddie.
He didn’t answer. The cogs of his mind were whirring frantically as he cast round for a plan, any plan that would get them off Cookery. If it was desirable before, it was now essential, even imperative. Cookery with Keren? That was one ingredient he could do without.
Even as he was thinking this, something seemed to click inside. Then he was speaking again, his voice vague with the wonder of sudden revelation.
‘Listen up, guys. I’ve got an idea…’
FOUR